By Braden Godley
In the wake of Facebook’s data breach by Cambridge Analytica, statistics detailing Facebook users’ favorite books, movies, television shows, and songs have been revealed to the public. Shockingly, these statistics showed that All Star, a song that was thought to be universally-hated, was the favorite song of nearly 100% of Facebook users.
Prior to the development, worldwide surveys had shown that almost nobody liked the song All Star. Many researchers attributed the flop to Smash Mouth’s lead vocalist and Guy Fieri look-alike, Steve Harwell. Tim Blockiman, a Cambridge researcher and music major, put forward his thoughts. “I think that people don’t like the song because of the way he uses his voice. Why does he do that?” Another music major, Jane Freeman, commented, “I think it might not necessarily be the voice, but maybe the music video. It raised a whole lot of questions, like, ‘Are Guy Fieri and Steve Harwell the same person?’ ”
Since then, the facts are out: All Star is the most well-received song ever written. The data leak also revealed that many of the ‘haters’ of the song were in fact hardcore fans. Many people are disputing the data, however, claiming that it’s unlikely that people would say it’s their favorite song unless it was a joke. “Who actually likes All Star? It’s mind-blowing that this is even something that I have to argue,” said Mike Rafone, an expert music analyst. “Nobody likes All Star. Nobody will ever like All Star. It is, and I say this objectively, the worst song ever written. The internet loves to take these things and make fun of them. It’s just got to be a joke.”
However, other people have taken the statistics as a signal for society to unite. “We’ve all been hiding it, I knew it! It really is everybody’s favorite song, just nobody was brave enough to admit it!” Sedd Tirsty, one of many lovers of All Star, said. “We just need to be more open about what we’re really feeling, dude.”
In addition to All Star, many other pieces in pop culture have had their popularity revealed. The Art of War by Sun Tzu, a 2500-year-old text that describes the process of waging war, including tactics like deploying spies, and techniques like maneuvering a battalion to the high ground, is the most popular book ever written. Over 97% of Facebook users had it listed as their favorite book, a statistic that surprised authors all around and caused some to decide to make the switch and start writing similar books. Stephen King commented, “From now until the end of time, all of my novels will be centered on the topic of army management. Its details. Its fine intricacies.”
Despite the concerns about user privacy, Cambridge Analytica’s collection of data provided many insights into society’s interests. It’s been a fascinating week for both content creators and consumers. Who knows what cool statistics the next massive breach of private data might bring?