By Sammy Guthrie

My human finally fed me after I repeated my order for the thousandth time, next time I won’t cover my poo for my human’s mistake of making me wait for my food! That’ll teach her, but the next time she won’t get away that easily – I’ll scratch her!

Human! I demand that you clean my bathroom and then you are to be my cushion. Let me sleep on you, and then I want you to play with me! That’s not all of my commands though, just finish the ones I listed before checking in with me.

Time passes…

I wonder what is taking her so long… By my kitty gosh I looked to see what my human was doing and she was SLACKING OFF! She was sitting on the couch with her device! Can you believe her? I gave her simple commands and she has failed to complete even them! What a failure, I want a new human. regardless, I’ll give my human another chance to get everything done. A perfect human would understand me and do as I say right away but it’s like my human speaks another language.

Later, my human said “Come here, Max! Come here and lay on me! You worked so hard and I want you to relax for a while”  I just thought “Of course I worked so hard! I’m the only one working!”

That evening my human gave me a bath even though I was clean. I spent all afternoon cleaning myself, and I want food right MEOW!