By Marisa Tilson
In mid May a hashtag went viral. The hashtag #MaybeHeDoesn’tHitYou focuses on the ideas of emotional and verbal abuse because it often goes untalked about in modern society. Everyone is able to acknowledge that physical abuse is never okay but they don’t tend to realize that emotional and verbal abuse can be just as bad.
The trend started when writer Zahira Kelly posted the hashtag on twitter. Zahira has started many other trending hashtags such as #AbuserLogic, all covering important issues. With
#MaybeHeDOesntHitYou she wanted to bring forward that these forms of abuse are real and victims aren’t just imagining it. The trend first started when Zahira and her friends shared their personal experience and stories and within hours it was a trending topic. There have been over 9,000 tweets telling of personal experiences and important signs for both men and women to acknowledge.
Some popular tweets that are trending are “#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he puts you down for the clothes you want to wear. Your body belongs to him so you cover up. Your property.” and “#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou but he swears he’ll never yell at you like that again. Just don’t make him so mad. ‘Promise..’. “
Men have joined in the conversations as well to point out that men aren’t the only abuses out there. Girlfriends and wives can be as well, “#MaybeSheDoesntHitYou because women can be abusers too and everybody deserves to have a voice about their experiences.” It is important for men to understand that they can be abused and those who have shouldn’t be ashamed to admit or feel invalid based off of others personal opinions.
One in four women are likely to experience abuse during a relationship. Some of the most obvious signs to look out for are: making someone repeatedly feel bad or scared, stalking, playing mind games, and controlling someone in the sense of constantly checking up on someone, not allowing them to go out and making them end friendships.
Another trending hashtag is #WhyIStayed where people explain the reasons they stayed in an abusive relationship. “I stayed because my pastor told me that God hates divorce. It didn’t cross my mind that God might hate abuse, too. #WhyIStayed” and “I stayed because I was halfway across the country, isolated from my friends and family. And there was no one to help me. #WhyIStayed.” When victims tell their stories people often ask why they didn’t just leave. For some leaving isn’t easy and the abusers can put them in unpredictable situations and it’s important to realize it’s never the victim’s fault.
Abuse is never okay in any relationship. It’s important to communicate with your partner and talk about any problems you may be having with each other. If you are in an abusive relationship there are many websites such as Refuge and Men’s Advice Line if you ever need someone to talk to or you’re just looking for support.